Today's Goal

As i sit thinking of how far i have come, i can't help but wonder what it would feel like to have it ALL back on. Over 70 lbs. I don't think that i could carry 70 lbs in a nap sack all day. I can't remember what it feels like. I can remember being there mentally, hating the way i looked and determined to change it...but the memory of the physical feeling has left me.
There are some things i look back on now, things that i no longer do and understand my actions better. I remember EXCESSIVELY shopping for clothes, it was an outfit or two a week and for some reason that urge to shop is gone. As the weight came off I didn't need materials to make me feel better or pretty, i just felt it.
When they say losing weight is a lifestyle change they couldn't be more right. You anticipate the physical changes but not the mental ones. I sometimes sit back and think to myself, would this person approach the "other" me, the me that i was 2 years ago, and strike up the same conversation? Would these people invite me to this or that if i didn't look the way i look now. Even sometimes there has been people who i have spoken to MANY times that have only now showed an interest befriending me.
Did you ever see those studies where a person does a survey when they are who they actually are and get great feedback from the everyday person on the street, then they put a big hairy mole on their cheek and the feedback is terrible. I sometimes have that kind of feeling. I guess in my mind i am still the insecure old me i have always been.
But sometimes i have to sit back and ask myself would i actually approach the big hairy mole lady as easily as an everyday regular somebody? I hope i would......
On that note... today's goal... find a "mole lady" and say hey!!!